Death Certificates for Sale

We now return to the joys of 2010 and the fact that Congress has not yet passed a bill changing the unified credit from unlimited in 2010. We hear that Congress intends to deal with this by the end of the year but if they don’t watch for the following really tacky idea.

THE DEATH CERTIFICATE PRINTING OFFICE.

The Government of the tiny African Principality called HERGOTIA was having trouble balancing the budget. Their King, also known as King Nogomo had a friend living in the United States, by the name of Ngu Burnufu. Ngu was trying to become a chartered life underwriter so he could sell Life Insurance on the internet. Ngu’s plan was to sell the insurance written by HERGOTIAN insurance companies in the United States. While attending a seminar Ngu learned that there is no death tax for the year 2010 if you die in 2010

Ngu called King Nogomo on his cell phone and said told him about the glitch in the law. “I wonder if these rich Americans would travel to HERGOTIA and for a fee get a death certificate”, he asked the King. The King frowned, but then said, “it might be good for tourism, but we need to upgrade our hotels.” A large investment was made in redecorating hotels throughout HERGOTIA.. As a result, he came up with a plan, sell travel packages to HERGOTIA so that people can “die” there.

Sam Burnedcoat had built an internet empire. His multiple blogs were worth an estimated One Hundred Million Dollars. He had chosen sports topics to blog about and most importantly became a fantasy sports guru of sorts. People checked out his blogs every day to see who was hurt, who was hot and who as slumping, so that they could manipulate their fantasy teams. Every hit was like a dollar sign to him. Sam was 35 years old and unmarried. He knew that he could and would start other blogs in the future, but he heard that if he died he could leave his empire to his needful parents who were entering old age. But he didn’t really want to die. So, he searched the internet and found out about HERGOTIA. But that wouldn’t end the inquiry he had to prepare the landing for his death first. He needed a new identity. The folks in HERGOTIA could help with that, too. They would give him a birth certificate with a new name, but he would of course be a citizen of HERGOTIA. For Sam, this was not a problem, since he worked on the internet and HERGOTIA had great internet facilities in their hotels.

Sorry

I’ve been tied up for the past week with a large project that has caused me lots of traveling and thus not much time for writing. I hope to get things heated up again on Monday, November 23.

Luigi Skates

He filed a malpractice suit against Luigi and the Financial Planner. The financial planner was an limited liability company with few assets and he just closed his doors leaving nothing for Dr. Dim. Luigi’s was married and all his assets were jointly titled with his wife. He did have malpractice coverage of $500,000. However, he pointed out a certified mail letter that he had wrote to Dr. Bulb, one that Dr. Bulb had not bothered to read carefully. In it, Luigi wrote, “Of course there is no applicable case law to give us complete comfort that this will not unravel, also if you are sued, not knowing where your assets have gone could be problematic for you should you be called upon to report those assets and income from those assets. Therefore if you do not have sufficient other assets outside of these trusts to fund a claim, these assets might be at risk.”

At trial Luigi’s counsel showed the jury the letter. After reading it three times in the jury

room, they determined that Bulb assumed the risk of the investment and awarded a verdict in favor of Luigi.

To the Hooscow

So the Judge told Dr. Bulb that until he could find his money, he could sit in jail. Dr. Bulb was handcuffed, strip searched and locked up in the local jail. In the meantime, Luigi called the lawyer in Nevis and reported the situation. The lawyer in Nevis was able to finally get some information about the account and Luigi reported that to the Trustee. Dr. Bulb was released. But that release was short-lived, the Judge then ordered him held until the money was repatriated. Dr. Bulb spent a week in prison this time. Once the money came in, much to Dr. Bulb’s surprise, it was about 20% higher than when he started. The I.R.S. and the state then amended their filed claims for unpaid taxes including fraud penalties. This meant that the taxes were about 80% of the income earned. The Judge granted their amendment and then, proceeded to divvy up the money. At that point everything Dr. Bulb owned was taken except his house which was mortgaged past the hilt. His reputation suffered, his income was lower, he had been incarcerated and suffered every indignity that such an ordeal offered, and now was penniless.

Dr. Bulb and Bankruptcy

The doctor went to see Luigi. “Okay, doctor you need to fill out these forms stating your assets in detail”. At that point the doctor mentioned the Trusts that were set up in Alaska and in Nevis. “List those as contingent assets in which you get the benefit of them”. He called the Alaska and Nevis banks to get information on those accounts and the banks told him that they no longer had the funds and wouldn’t tell him where they were. So, wrote down on the schedule, “Assets $900,000 more or less in the Bulb Trusts copies of the trust documents attached, and I am a contingent beneficiary”.

At the 341 Hearing, the attorney for the young girl asked about the Trust assets, Bulb told him the scenario about setting up the trusts and that he had no idea where the money was at this point in time. The U.S. Attorney also asked Dr. Bulb about where the income from the Nevis assets was reported. Dr. Bulb said that it wasn’t because he didn’t know if he earned any income on the account. The Trustee then ordered him to produce more information. He called the banks and they refused to provide the information to him. He then sought out a lawyer in Alaska and a lawyer in Nevis to try and find his money. Each charged him $20,000 to start the search. After a few weeks, each lawyer informed Dim in writing that they couldn’t find the assets. He reported that to Luigi who reported that to the Trustee. The Trustee made a motion with the Court to have Dr. Bulb turn over the assets of the Trust to the Trustee and joined the two banks as defendants. The Alaska Bank appeared and said that under Alaska Law it was not required to divulge the information to the Court. The Bankruptcy Court noting that it had national jurisdiction threatened to lock up the Alaska Bank’s President and Directors, unless he received a report from them. They complied and the Judge required that they turn over the assets to the Trustee which they did. The Nevis Bank never responded.