February 28, 2009

“Now son, don’t be too generous with the customers while I’m at Park City this week competing in the senior downhill”, the old man said. “Dad, don’t try to be the poster child for the “agony on the Wide World of Sports, “ Junior fired back. “Hell, son, its not the skiing that worries me, its whether that ED medicine will hurt my vision going downhill.” “Dad, you know you shouldn’t be mixing fast skiing with that stuff, you could get killed.” “Hell, son, I’ve been taking that stuff for years and it never bothered me before, doubt it will start now. I just want to make sure…. oh what is that chick’s name…, Sandi… to enjoy herself.”

March 1, 2009.

While blazing down a double diamond slope the bindings on Jack, Sr’s, skis failed. He fell into a grove of pine trees. He was carted downhill in the inglorious ski patrol toboggan after Patrol members stabilized him for about 20 minutes. A chopper was waiting at the bottom of the slope to carry him back to Salt Lake City for shock trauma.

“We have a male caucasian, 6’2″, weight about 200 lbs. He suffered trauma when his skis malfunctioned and he fell headlong into a grove of trees. He was wearing a helmet, but suffered a concussion. He also has a lacerations over much of his body, and a wound from a branch in his chest”, the doctor dictated into his recorder. “Will start to lavage the wound track of the branch and make sure there is no internal bleeding”, he continued.

The doctors worked tirelessly on him and discovered that the wound was deeper than expected and had nicked his bowel requiring surgery to close the bowel and clean out his insides.

After seven hours of surgery, they closed him up and started an IV drip of antibiotics.