December 19, 2010.
“AN UNTIMELY DEATH IN HERGOTIA” read the NEWSY NEWS headline. The story went on to describe the untimely death of Mr. Shadewell.
The tourism minister came running into the Prime Minister’s office with a print out of the Newsy News article about Sam Shadewell. “Look at this and to make matters worse, we have been receiving cancellations all day”. The Prime Minister thought for a second and replied, “leak a story to this reporter that our autopsy results show that Mr. Shadewell actually died of alcohol poisoning from ingesting wine before the procedure.”
December 20, 2010.
‘BOOZE BLAMED FOR DEATH IN HERGOTIA” was the headline in NEWSY NEWS
and the story went on to describe Mr. Shadewell’s autopsy findings from an anonymous source.
December 20, 2010.
The United States State Department issued a travel warning to HERGOTIA relating to people seeking to avoid U.S. estate taxes. It said that deaths from HERGOTIA might not be honored if the person turned up alive thereafter and that the procedure involved extreme risk of death or bodily harm.
December 20, 2010.
Boris Blakovic was a seasoned investigator for Grand Caymans Life Insurance Company. He knew a scam when he saw one and this situation stunk to high heavens. He intereviewed Ms. Shadewell about her husband’s death and questioned her about why he had taken out the insurance policy and why wasn’t this procedure mentioned in the application. She noted that there was no such question on the application and that they had been completely true about what they were doing there in HERGOTIA, and that the policy had been procured through an agent of the Government of HERGOTIA. The Minister of Finance of HERGOTIA sat in on the meeting and noted that if the life insurance company stiffed Mrs. Shadewell, that they might as well fold up their tents in HERGOTIA. Blackovic emailed the company offices. This was a huge hit and not one that they wanted to pay willingly. After much reflection, they denied the claim and told their agents in HERGOTIA that they were no longer accepting policies from there.
December 21, 2010.
Mrs. Shadewell was fit to be tied. “Now they won’t pay the cotton picking insurance” she screamed. “You said this procedure was safe, you leaked private information about my husband that was untrue, and you procured an insurance policy that didn’t pay!”, she yelled. “I see your anger, but suing won’t do you any good because we have sovereign immunity”. “We’re sorry, but we will pay you $10 Million to be silent, and your husband did avoid estate taxes which is what he wanted.” She thought for a moment, $10 Million was a lot of money, but in the grand scheme of things was chicken feed. “You can take your money and stuff it”.
Mrs. Shadewell called the reporter from NEWSY NEWS, “Have I got a story for you!” she told him. She met with him and related everything on the condition of anonymity. He reported that Mr. Shadewell had not consumed alcohol for 24 hours prior to the procedure and was in perfect health. He noted that the insurance company had denied coverage and that the family was considering its legal options.
December 22, 2010.
NOT DRUNK! read the headline of NEWSY NEWS.
The tourism minster ran in to the Prime Minister’s office again. This is terrible, more cancellations. This is a big disaster I think. The Prime Minister smiled. “We knew it wouldn’t last. Let’s shut this thing down.”