Tell Me Doc is he going to live

Jack, Jr. hung up the phone, shaking his head, “Crazy, old coot”. He called the hospital and got hold of the emergency staff who promised to call him back. He called the travel agency to get a flight out of either Nashville or Atlanta as soon as possible for Phoenix. He called in the night manager to let him know that he was in charge of the dealership for the next few days, but that if any major decisions were needed to call him on his cell phone or send him an email.

“Mr. Jenkins, this is Doctor Padhur, I am calling to let you know what’s going on with your father. He suffered a fracture of the orbital bone and a detached retina. We can refer you to a very good opthalmic surgeon who can fix those two injuries. We have him heavily sedated so that he doesn’t jerk about and lose any chance we have to fix the retina. He suffered a concussion. The petscan indicated that he’s had a few before. Luckily for him this is a mild one, the blow from the ball was not as direct as it might have been. We need your permission as next of kin to schedule these two procedures.” “Sure, doc”, Jack, Jr. responded, “And I’m on my way, I should be there sometime tomorrow morning.” “Very good”, the doctor responded. Jack, Jr. gave him his cell phone number and they ended the call. “If he keeps this up, I may not have to worry about him dying in 2010″, Junior muttered to himself.

License and Registration Please

September 12, 2009.

“Mr. Jenkins step out of the car, please”, the local policeman politely asked. “Do you know who I am son?” asked Jack, Sr. “Your license says, Jack Jenkins, sir. Have you had anything to drink, today?” “Just a couple sips of bourbon during the game, officer.” and I need you to count backward from ‘t’ to ‘m’”, the officer asked. “t, s, r, p, o, n, m.” Jack responded. “Okay now I need you to walk a straight line toe to toe”, the officer ordered. “I can’t do that, I blew out my knees in the NFL.”, Jack responded. “Okay, tilt your head backward, extend your arms and touch your nose like this”, the officer directed in almost a monotone. Jack, Sr. did and almost fell down. The officer then said, “Mr. Jenkins, I suspect that you’re driving under the influence, now you have a choice of whether you want to blow in this balloon or have blood drawn back at the station. Or you can refuse in which case I must take your license and you will be automatically suspended from driving for a year”, the officer spoke almost like a robot. “Take my license”, Jack, Sr., responded. “Okay, we’ll impound your car now, and a family member can pick it up at the impound lot, you’re riding with me to jail”, the cop ordered. “To jail?” Jack asked. “Yessir, I’ll be booking you on suspicion of driving under the influence”, the officer answered.

Once they arrived at the Station, the desk Sergent noticed that it was Jack Jenkins former star player and NFL player who was being booked. He called, Jack, Jr. “Junior, your Dad got pulled over for DUI, come and get him”. Junior looked at the young face in bed with him. “Sorry dear, I have to go bail my dad out of jail, can I have a raincheck”.

September 13, 2009.

Jack, Sr. had a hangover. He walked into the kitchen seeking a pain reliever. He did remember his visit to jail and knew he had to deal with that. The doorbell rang and sounded like a shotgun blast to Jack’s splitting head. He ambled to the door and saw junior waiving a bag with presumably some sort of food in it. “Hi, dad, figured you’d need a little food, I brought enough for you and Swedish blonde.” Jack, Sr. looked into the bag and saw several egg and bacon sandwiches, hash browns, juice and a large coffee. “Thanks, son and thanks for bailing me out last night.”

“Dad, we’re going to have to hire someone to drive you around. You could’ve killed someone last night, yourself included, and you can’t drive for a year”, Junior added. “I’m going to fight the suspension”, Senior responded. “Unless you get the Governor, to pull some strings, that isn’t going to happen and probably not soon”, Junior answered. “So, I figure I’ll get one of the clean-up boys at the dealership to be your driver. We’ll fix you up with a nice black sedan with tinted windows, and a privacy window between the seats, and let you look like a Governor or something.” Junior said, ever the salesman. “Okay, and get Jeb to call me, I’m going to need a lawyer for this DUI thing.”

Breaking News -Cash for Clunkers-Tax Issues

We interrupt our tax tales with a breaking story. There is a lot of myth going around about the taxability of the Cash for Clunkers Program. Some news programs have said that you will owe income taxes on the credit. That is not correct. According to Section 1302(h)(2) of the Act creating the program the $4500 is excluded from gross income. Most state income taxes adopt the IRS definition of gross income. As a result there should be no income tax on the money received. However, for sales tax purposes, you would have paid full sales tax in many states for the purchase price of the car including the amount paid by the Government. Some commentators have gotten confused by this. But clearly there is no income tax on the Cash for Clunkers Program.  However, the dealers will pay tax on the rebates received by them, because it goes into their pocket as a gross receipt (this is of course off-set by Cost of Good Sold, inventory deductions, and other deductions).

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